Groves' New Toilet Dispensers: A Public Enemy

As students and staff strolled into Groves, eagerly anticipating the year ahead, they were all living in a state of ignorant bliss. This state of euphoria was short lived for all, as word quickly spread of newfound darkness that plagued the bathrooms of Wylie E. No longer was a bathroom break merely a simple “bathroom break”, but instead, a battle with one of the most vile, villainous monsters to have ever graced the bathroom stalls; the Georgia Pacific SofPull Toilet Paper Dispenser.

Picture a toilet paper dispenser. Simple, straightforward, efficient; you simply pull as much or as little toilet paper as you would like, do your business, and carry on with your day. Now take away any functional part of that design, and replace it with something that resembles a tissue dispenser from hell; that’s the best way to summarize the new toilet paper dispensers in the Groves bathrooms. The design's intention, to help minimize toilet paper waste, is innocent enough, but when the dispenser only allows users to select one measly square of toilet paper at a time, it results in people taking a ridiculous number of squares to compensate. The “porthole” design is prone to clogging, and unless you happen to carry tweezers for the sole purpose of extracting toilet paper, chances are that you will wind up stranded with no available toilet paper. Every design flaw possible must have been overlooked during the design phase of this product because there is no way that any rational person would have allowed these toilet paper dispensers to grace the stalls of any bathroom.

I have one question for the BPS administrators responsible for replacing our toilet paper dispensers: why? I understand that there were complaints about our restrooms, but never did I hear anything about the toilet paper. The trash cans? Yes. The toilets? Absolutely. But the toilet paper? It was potentially the only redeeming quality that our bathrooms had to offer. If this message reaches any higher power in the BPS district, please hear this desperate cry for a change. For the sake of the students, staff, and anyone who has the opportunity to grace the halls of Wylie E., consider restoring our toilet paper dispensers back to their former glory, ensuring that nobody will have to go toilet paper-less any longer.

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